Keeping Up With The ….Kids!
As the world prepares itself to bid farewell to what could be called, America’s most famous reality TV family, there are those of us who have just been too darn busy to keep up with them at all.
As much as I love to veg out in front of the television, and binge watch mindless dribble as an escape from reality on those rare occasions, when the kids aren’t shouting their demands from the roof tops. I was always too busy keeping up with my own trials and tribulations of my own family and health, to worry about which sister is dating which artist, or who’s mansion is going to be hosting the family Christmas after the umpteenth argument.
I’m sure as a family there are issues that they go through which most people can relate to, and in no way am I reducing the importance of them or their issues, but I doubt that their issues have ever had to deal with juggling a disability and keeping up with your kids plus everything that comes with it.
Being a disabled parent brings with it an array of challenges that non-disabled parents just don’t have to deal with. Some of these challenges are physical, some are emotional and some are just the unfairness of how society exists.
I feel it mostly when I’ve plucked up enough courage to have a family outing. This could be something as simple as going to the park.
Let’s set the scene;
Now bear in mind, you would have already used a significant amount of energy to actually get out of bed. So, after celebrating that personal success, you gear yourself up to take the next step forward and face the mountain that is getting the kids ready. Ok, so that’s 2 successes done. I don’t know about you, but by this time I’d happily either go back to bed or plop myself on to the couch. But no, you are determined to make memories.
You’ve triple checked the multitude of lists you have made, to “remind” you of what not to forget;
Drinks — check, Snacks — check, Wipes/tissues — check, Walking aid — check, Disability badge — check, Kids — check
You wipe away the sweat off your brow and take a deep breath, accompanied by a sigh of achievement as you finish off your homemade triple shot latte. As you hustle the kids out of the door, reminding their eager selves to wait for you as you hobble over to catch them up, you enter the realm of the real world.
Let’s go!
You feel yourself beginning to struggle as you are doing your best to make sure your anxiety and mood swings don’t affect the happy mood of the excursion. Struggle to physically keep up with the Usain Bolt speed of your children’s pace. Struggle to keep up with the juggling of the multitude of bags carrying essentials which every parenting website tells you that as a parent you can’t leave the house without.
You reach your destination and what do you find?
A maze of stairwells that to your kids are simply fun. You pause for a sec and scan the area in the hope for an escalator, or a lift, or at this point even the dreaded wheelchair lifts. Although helpful, you don’t necessarily enjoy being center stage of the loud mechanical pistons raising you up and down. (which I don’t particularly enjoy, unless I’m the opening act for Beyoncés’ latest concert tour and this is part of my entrance! Well, you can guess how often that happens)
You manage to grab the kids and turn “pulling mummy up the stairs” into the daily game, and once you’ve reached the top, you all but collapse onto the nearest grassy area under the biggest tree for shade.
As base camp has been identified, you release your kids into the wilderness that is your local park, and proceed to watch them running around. You begin grinning with happiness and feel like you have just conquered Mount Everest as you see the smiles and joy beaming from your little ones faces.
Knowing that this outing may mean you having a “bad day” for the next three days. It might mean you aren’t able to do anything except stay in bed due to the chronic fatigue that takes over. It could mean that the chronic pain remains constant and increases in intensity for a few more days.
But you know what? The memory I just created was worth it. The fresh air that they just had, was worth it. The happiness and joy they just experienced, was worth it.
You see, for me being able to keep up with my children is more than enough entertainment. Having Multiple Sclerosis has thrown so many challenges my way, but the one fight I refuse to give up on is to be the best parent I can be to my children.
I may not be able to take them on days out every weekend. I may not be able to splash out on a holiday every school break. I may not be able to comb their hair properly or even dress them some mornings, but do you know what I can do? I Keep Up With them. Giving them love, guidance and compassion.
What else could they ask for?
Being a disabled parent is not a reflection of how good you are at the job. Nor is it a reflection of how capable you are as a parent. If anything, a child growing up with a disabled parent will grow with more empathy and awareness of how the world treats the disabled population. As disabled parents, it is our responsibility to raise these open minded and compassionate beings to the best of our ability, no one else’s.
For now, I’m happy with the reality show I’m starring in, alongside millions of other disabled parents around the world.
Keeping Up With The Kids is definitely my number one hit show!